I had an identity crisis this week. I was visiting some really good blogs about organizing and home management. I really enjoyed reading them and getting ideas....only I took things a little too far. I started to... gasp....
compare myself with these lovely ladies of bloggity land. It is generally never good to compare in any situation, but this crisis got even worse I believe because I was comparing myself and home to people who aren't in the same season of life of me and who may not have the same priorities as me. Like I said, they were good blogs on organizing and making my home beautiful. However those things look a lot different for me while I am pregnant,have a toddler, homeshool, and try to live below 30,000 dollars a year for a family of 5 1/2, than someone who no longer has children at home or a family of 3 with a larger income and children who attend school away from home.
So I fell victim (or more the truth...sinfully walked into the chaos of comparison and coveting).
I thought I was not "perfect" enough and justified it by denying my discontentment and by calling it noncomplacancy. The truth is I will always be far from perfect.....far, far,far,far, far.....and contentment is not complacancy. So at the end of the week of mental chaos and crying because of my frustration of comparing myself to women who I only see a snippet of their life on my computer screen...I prayed. It was hard. I confessed to God of my discontentment and asked Him to help me see the truth. It was beautiful. He answered. It wasn't immediately, but close. Two hours later I once again felt at peace and full of thanks for the life He has chosen for me. I am thankful for my not quite finished home with expand a foam for accent decoration, for my children and their creativity that comes with a little clutter, and my husband who can fix anything and does so all day at work, so I won't demand that he do it at home when he is tired. There is still hope of the continuation of decluttering, organizing, and making my home beautiful, but it is a continuing process. . I cannot clean for a lifetime, or even for the next day, today. Clutter is sort of like manna, it will be there everyday. I just have to collect it for that day and put it in the right receptacle.
So I am back visiting frugal friends and it helps to hang out with people in the same boat,so to speak, as me. It gives me information that I can use right now in my life. There is a great frugal blogroll that I hope to figure out how to get on soon. I will call one of my close by fugal friends to help me figure out how to link there. Long live frugal friends!!
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7 comments:
And it's entirely possible that when you get to that season of life, if you do, that God will have for you something completely other than what those ladies are doing. (I don't have to tell you that.)
But I have much the same problem, without the reason of being pregnant or any of those other things. I don't know if that helps or makes things worse. ;)
Oh, I am so glad you posted this - it is too easy to fall into that trap!
I'm also glad that God allowed you to see what was happening before it went on longer.
Laura, I am glad you have checked out my blog. Thanks for coming over.
Thank you Rebecca and Laura for the encouragement.
Welcome to the frugal blogroll, by the way! It *does* help to surround yourself with frugal friends.
Found your post from The Frugal Kitchen link (http://thefrugalkitchen.blogspot.com/2007/04/thoughts-on-scheduling.html)
I often feel the same way though our lives are similar - I have 3 kids and am pregnant, homeschooling our oldest. I take the advice from the book The Excellent Wife, to ask your husband what his ideas/priorities are. What does he want you to do? Is having a calm wife with a nice meal on the table when he gets home or a perfectly spotless house the most important? Are paper plates ok (all the time, occasionally, never)? Is he willing to help out so you can meet his ideals? After God, your husband is your first priority so meeting his needs is very important - but you won't know his needs without asking him.
Thankfully, my husband has low expectations for housework (he truly doesn't "notice" things). We try to go for a balance between the household I grew up in (VERY dirty and VERY cluttered) and his (spotless). My husband works 2 part-time jobs and goes to school so he doesn't have a lot of time to "help" me around the house so he understands that everything can be overwhelming. I've heard a saying - you can have a nice dinner meal prepared, a clean house, or homeschool - you'll never have all 3 but be lucky to get 2 out of 3! :) That's how I feel most days, especially this pregnancy has been very tiring for me.
Sorry to write so much, HTH.
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer. Thanks for your comments. I have heard the title The Excellent Wife. I will have to check it out. I always like to hear about books others like that are helpful.
"I've heard a saying - you can have a nice dinner meal prepared, a clean house, or homeschool - you'll never have all 3 but be lucky to get 2 out of 3! :)"
This is a quote for my fridge.
Your family's health and happiness, your walk with God is important, everything else is secondary.
Welcome to the frugal blogroll! :)
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